Sometimes...

Sometimes things go exactly the way you planned them and it turns out to be a great day.

Sometimes things go exactly the way you planned them and it turns out to be a crappy day.

Sometimes things get all f-ed up and you want to cry like a baby in your plate of turkey and stuffing.

Then sometimes you get a text message from your neice thanking you for a great day and it makes your f-ed up day worth it.

God bless her.

A week in the life...

• Two day work week.
• A three-page, single-spaced, to-do list to finish before Wednesday. 
• Two full Thanksgiving dinners at our house. 
• Try desperately to get a picture of a child that never stops moving for her birthday invitations. HA!
• Our EIGHT YEAR anniversary celebration.
• Celebrating my friend's engagement.
• Hopefully seeing my besties.
• Having fun!
• Enjoy time with whoever shows up to our house.
• Not worry if things aren't perfect.
• Being thankful for the ridiculous amount of blessings God continues to give our family.

 

Looks like a crazy, busy, wonderful week!

November to Remember- A Few Resolutions Resolved!

Today I'm extremely thankful for a few resolutions that have been resolved.  Both have been hard for me, for very different reasons. Thank you, Jesus, for loving me and caring about what I care about.  You give me and my family more than we can imagine.  Seriously, thanks Jesus.  Love you.

Camera that doesn't make me cuss- For our anniversary we bought a point and shoot.  Its really small, really stylish, and takes AMAZING pictures for a point and shoot.  And to be honest, I don't have the time or motivation to learn all the tricks of a dSLR so its exactly what I wanted.  And I won't cuss about it again.  Just a side note- if you're going to buy a camera anytime soon, http://www.cnet.com/ is an amazing website.  They do quick video segments that review every make and model of camera.  TJ and I felt like we knew the guy and girl before we finally decided.  And they don't mince words- they tell you exactly what you need to know and what you feel like you never really can get out of sales people.  TJ and I laughed several times because they guy is just so blunt about what the camera could or couldn't do.

Weight Loss- First of all, this is probably the most vulnerable you'll find me.  All of this is hard to say and in some ways I feel like I'm jinxing myself by saying anything.  But for some reason, I feel like I need to say this today. 
As of today I have lost 22 lb. since September 1st.  If you see me, you might not even notice; probably depends on how long its been since you've seen me.  I'm not really thin and I probably won't ever be. 
I'm going to Weight Watchers with some girls I work with.  I know, you think I'm a dork.  I am.  I wake up early on Saturday morning to go to a fat people meeting.  And yes, the meetings are just like you probably imagine they are.  But really, I don't care what people think about me or my weight anymore.  I gave that to God right around September 1st as well.  Mostly I want to be thankful for what God made me to be and I want to be the most healthy version of what God made.  Don't get me wrong, I like being thinner and I love going to buy clothes in a smaller size.  And there is still more work to do in the weight loss department, at least 15 or 20 lb more.  And I still struggle with other things about me that I don't like or want to change.  But God has done something in my that has changed me mindset. I have no idea why it is working for me this time. Chubby people try weight loss all the time, I'm no exception.  It just seemed to click this time. One of my friends lost weight and told me she felt like something broke in her with believing the lie about herself being fat forever, being unhappy, being unhealthy.  So I guess I'm in that category. 
I'm asking you this- pray for me. I would like to maintain my weight through the holiday season and continue to lose after that.  I do not want to go backward and gain weight over the holiday season. This is going to be a struggle for me, I'm sure.  This is just honesty coming out here- its uncomfortable for me to say, really.
I think that's enough awkward weight conversation for one day.  By the way, since I asked you to pray for me, let me do the same.  If you want me to pray for something for you, let me know.  My family will totally pray for you each night as a family when we put Faith to bed.  She loves praying for others. And buggies.

November to Remember- A Song

Ya know, sometimes you feel something and you feel so alone in that feeling. That really, eventhough you know there have to be other people in this world that feel the same way, nothing about that feeling can be expressed adequately enough for others to understand your exact feeling.


Enter music. Musicians and songwriters can put into words or chords or riffs what you've been trying to explain for year. And you find a song that expresses everything you feel about a certain person, place, or thing. This song feels like it was born out of the depths of my soul about a certain thing.


Public education.

I love you and all I want you to do is just hold me.

November to Remember- Dishwasher

I am thankful for the dishwasher.  I am NOT thankful that my daughter can stealthily turn it off without us knowing resulting in dishes with food so dried on them I want to throw them away like Chinet.  But alas, I am thankful for the dishwasher.
I never had a dishwasher growing up.  My mom would say she had 5 because she had 5 girls.  I NEVER found that funny.  When my sister and I got older it was our chore to clean the kitchen after dinner.  We would fight every night about who was going to wash, who would rinse, who would dry, sweep, clean the stove, etc.  She would fill the sink with water and bubbles then drop a plate in so the suds would go in my face.  I love her, but I NEVER found that funny either.  My mom ended up having to split us by days and we would have to do it by ourselves every other day. 
When TJ and I got married with got several sets of dishes, silverware, pots and pans, etc.  We were little piggies.  We would use every dish until they piled to the ceilings then break down and wash them.  Finally, per our old youth pastor's funny advice, TJ took out all the extra dishes so that there were just enough for us plus one.  I NEVER found that funny.
My house has a dishwasher now. And I am thankful.

Those stories have no real point, just thought you might like to know.

Resolution Check- November

Only 1 1/2 months left until my new set of resolutions are put into place.  I already know one or two I'm going to make, but the rest are up in the air right now.  But that doesn't matter right this second, because we are living in the present. A very bright present, I might add.  Read 'em and weap, people!

1. People over- impromptu chili night while my neice was in town last month.  Two thanksgivings at our house in two week.  Yipes!  TJ's family on Thanksgiving Day and my family on Saturday, I think.

2. Guitar- nope.  I hate to say it, but i think this one is going to have to be put in the "Not Right Now" category.  Time, money, and mommy guilt.
3. Weight- down 18 lb!  Are you fu-reaking kidding me?  I can't believe I'm actually doing it.

4. Blog- check.

5. Camera- We are going to get a point and shoot for our anniversary this month.  Thanks the Lord because I seriously am having to rely on other people to give me pictures from Halloween this year.  Bummer city.

6. Lesson Plans- check.

7. Garden- check.

8. Hair- No.  Anyone know if the barter system still works?  Your child needs a tutor and you do hair?  Let's make a deal...

9. Water and DDP- check.  (I quit drinking DDP 100% due to a killer stomach virus making its way through Norman.  But I fell off the wagon.  I still drink more water than DDP so this is a success.)

10. Decorate the House- This one was actually decorate our room, but I modified it.   Our room is about 75% where I'd like it so I feel like I need to move on.  Faith's room is about 90% done, I just need to hang some pictures.  I have vision out the wazoo for the living room, but no resources at this moment.  And the kitchen is mediocre at best.   I would call this resolution a 50% success. 

November to Remember- Date Nights

TJ and I have a weird life schedule.  Our life rotates in 24 hour shifts-weekends in the middle of the week for TJ, I have breaks off with TJ working holidays often, finding babysitters for an hour or so when I leave for work until he comes home, the list goes on.  I will have to say that this part of our lives has been the hardest to get used to since we had Faith.  Before Sis, I would work until 7 or 8 at night sometimes when TJ was working, it just made sense, and my hard work paid off in my classroom.  He would spend his off days resting, hobbying, and cleaning the house.  Our weekends, whenever they fell due to TJ's schedule, would be free to hop in the car and go wherever the wind took us.  (Not that the wind took us very far, but it could if we had wanted it to.)   Its not that I miss life without Faith, it's mostly that I just miss rest and quality time with my husband.  TJ now comes home from sleepless nights to corral a little girl who, I swear, NEVER sits down except to eat and watch Movers.  I rush home from work on days he's working because my mom has been here since 6:30AM and leave ASAP on days he's home to give him a break and hopefully get a little family time in.  Our weekends are full of laundry, dishes, and un-fun life stuff.  And when we're both home and could actually get a sitter and go out, we feel guilty for leaving Faith with someone AGAIN so we stay home.
TJ decided last week we needed Netflix.  I'm still not sure if that's the case, but alas, we received our first DVD in the mail.  We sat down after Faith went to sleep last night to watch our movie.  I made the comment to TJ that it was pitiful that at 8 o'clock we were in our pajamas, watching a movie as our first date in a month.  The movie started- Date Night.  And lo and behold, the premise of the movie was our life.  Two busy, normal people who want a little more than the normalcy of day to day life with family.  Art imitating life, isn't that what it's called?
It made me thankful for the times when the planets and stars align and we spend time together- just me and my best friend.  It doesn't happen often, but when it does I love it. 

November to Remember- My Child

Obviously these posts are not in any particular order.  If they were my child would have been somewhere up there with TJ and not after cheddar cheese. 

I honestly don't even know how to start this post.  Let's just go back in time a bit.

When TJ and I found out that we were expecting a baby, I didn't know what to think.  Obviously, that was not the time to think if I wanted to be pregnant or not- that would have been a few weeks prior, but that's neither here nor there.  We sat on the porch of our, literally, falling-apart trailer house in my parents front yard and looked at each other thinking I thought it would take longer than that!  Notsomuch.
Once it sunk in that the same TJ and Amanda that met at 13 were going to bring a child into this world, we decided to keep it a secret from our families for as long as we could so that we could revel in the idea that we were finally going to a family.  It was the best time of our lives, but the scariest too.  I'm sure any parent would attest to that.  It probably would have been a secret for much longer, but my blabber mouth husband told some guys at the station that blabber mouthed to some girls in our youth group when I took them up to see the station.  Basically, two of our youth knew MONTHS before our families knew.
Then she was born.  A teeny, tiny little thing.  It was a dramatic birth story and that should've been my first clue she'd be a handful.  She kept us up all night- probably the real the reason I started reading and writing a blog.  I read Pioneer Woman's entire love story series at night over several weeks when she would keep me up at night. 
She is feisty-loving-smart-lippy-funny-music lover-verbal-a great spinner-loves her Papa John-cute as can be-loves outside- animal lover- buggy lover- coloring book scribbler- overall as close to perfect as you can get in a ALMOST TWO YEAR OLD! (How did that happen, by the way?)  I am thankful for all the things that make Faith who she is, even if she has traits in her that I had that drove my moma crazy.  Taking her shoes off in the car before we're even out of the addition.  Secretly grabbing food out of the cart and biting through the package like I used to do with cheese. I thankful she has traits like her daddy- shy at times, but crazy most of the time, a crazy bad dancer that makes me laugh, and amazingly sweet. 
I like her alot.  I think I'll keep her another week or so. 

November to Remember- Cheese

I like cheese.  And am thankful for it.  It's yummy with DDP and Lays potato chips.
That's all.

November to Remember- A Promise

So there's this little white lie enormous, huge, whopper of lie I tend to believe that really screws me over.  Its the lie fed to that I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH. It goes a little something like this:
You're not a good enough mom because...
You're not a good enough teacher because...
You're not a good enough wife because...
You're not thin enough and that's why...
You're not pretty because...
You really should be better at ...
If you was as thankful as you should be then...
If you did _____ then you'd have friends.
In just about every aspect of my life there's a lie I hear about me and my lack of dedication, motivation, determination, ation, ation, ation, ation. 
What I ultimately end up believing is because I'm not enough, because I don't work hard enough, because my end result isn't what it should be, that I don't deserve to be happy.  I deserve to be sad, depressed, lonely, and always wanting more. 
But there is a truth, a promise, that God gives me, that if I choose to believe it instead of the lie, can break through all the bullshit that gives me bags under my eyes when I'm only twenty-freakin'-eight.
This is the truth:
The promise is that God created me.  He created me in His image.  He created me with a purpose.  He chose for me to be in His family knowing I wasn't perfect and that didn't keep Him from choosing me.  He doesn't dwell on the things I do wrong, in fact He delights in His children.  He's a good father and doesn't withhold from me just because I'm human.  He thinks I am enough.  He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
I don't believe this every day of my life.  But I am thankful for it today.  I declare it for myself and for you.  (Which could actually be you or no one, based on my comment section lately.)  You are enough.  You don't have to get bogged down in your humanness.  God loves you and thinks you are the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Because He loves His babies. And we are His babies. 

November to Remember- The Weekend

I am thankful for the weekend.  Being a teacher, I get a nice summer break.  (Don't even get me started about how you wish you had one too, blah, blah, blah, or I'll get my friend Amber on you.  She'll tear you apart and you CANNOT win that one.)   Anyway, sometimes you for get just how amazing the weekend can be because of that.  But when you get back into the swing of things, the weekend is there to keep you sane.  To let you know waking up doesn't have to be to the frightening sound of the alarm.  To let you eat something for breakfast besides a granola bar and a DDP.  To let your butt know it can actually find a seat, sit down and relax even when its light outside.  To find the kitchen floor underneath all the crumbs.  And to wash laundry so you don't have to put your child in a shirt with dried God-knows-what on the front from God-knows-when. 

God bless Saturday and Sunday. 

I wonder if I came up with another word that started with "S" and ended with "day" if we could add it to the weekend.  Just a thought...

November to Remember- My Moma

First of all, just let me say I know most of you spell moma "m-a-m-a."  I would say 1)you're spelling it wrong and 2)if you've heard me say it, you know I'm spelling it correctly.  I don't say mama, I say moma.

My moma is amazing.  She has raised 6 children with consistent love and honesty.  My mom does not beat around the bush.  She doesn't hold in her opinion.  And even though we range in age from 28 to 42 she always is truthful with us about our lives.  At times it can be hard to hear such blunt honesty, but its probably the most pure form of love I've ever been given.  I still get in trouble for sassing, I still think she'd smack me if I really needed it, and she has taught me how to be a mom to Faith. 
Speaking of that, another reason I'm so thankful for her is that she watches Faith when we're at work. Or want to go out on a date. Or have d-group. Or want to go scouting for hunting season. (Whatever that is.) Or want to go to Sonic without a child yelling "french fries" at the carhop. She does things exactly like we do with Faith, the only exception being she makes Faith amazing breakfast meals with REAL butter and syrup because she thinks we rip her off.  She does my dishes while I'm at work, is patient enough to let Faith sit on her lap while she's sewing, and made Faith not one, but two Halloween costumes FROM SCRATCH SANS PATTERN because I changed my mind a week before Halloween.

My mom never really yelled at us, she whispered at us.  If we got a whisper we knew we were in big trouble.  She also could put us in our place by simply placing her pointer finger on our arm with gentle ease.  She didn't apply pressure at all, and just putting it there still gives me the chills.  She took a gaggle of us grocery shopping EVERY SATURDAY my whole life. I've watched my mom drop everything to run to any, and all, of us at the ring of the phone.  I don't even know if I should write this, but my mom will sometimes stay up all night praying for one, two, or all of us.  She's given us every dime of her money, every minute of her day, and every ounce of who she is to make us who we are. 
I am grateful, thankful, and blessed to be one of the few Perkins-Luckinbill-VanRosendale-Wallace-Jernigan-White-Aragon family members that gets to call Hope Perkins "moma."

November to Remember- Belly Laughs

Today I had two good belly laughs and they made me so happy.

1.  A student of mine came up to me just laughing his little blonde head off.  When I could finally understand him he told me he had had an accident and needed to change his pants.  Laughing isn't the typical response you get from a five year old when they have an accident so I was a little confused.  He went on to tell me he had an accident because one of his friends said something so funny he laughed hard enough to pee his pants. He was just laughing and laughing and thought it was the funniest thing.  I couldn't get the smile off my face.  Sometimes you just need someone to make you laugh so hard you pee your pants.

2.  I have, hands down, the best book buddy ever.  Yes, I know it sounds completely nerdy to have a book buddy, judge me if you must.  She reads my blog, she's an AMAZING teacher, she's always positive even when he has reasons to not be, her baby is due on my birthday, and her husband makes killer food.  Anyway, she makes the most mundane things hilarious.  I laughed so hard today while she was in my room I thought I might pull a #1 too!  Because sometimes you just need someone to make you laugh so hard you pee your pants.

November to Remember- Babies

Today one of my long time best friends had her baby.  I would put up a picture, but I don't know how she feels about having pics of her little beauty plastered on here.  All I can say is she's gorgeous, Emily is amazingly strong and calm, and I now have baby fever.  Again. 

Babies are life changing.  Or they should be at least. 

November to Remember-Nursery Rhymes

Nursery Rhymes.  I'm thankful for nursery rhymes.  They are one of the leading factors in reading success, ya know.  Well, if you didn't now you do.  And the reason I'm thankful for nursery rhymes is because they're already teaching my daughter. 
Tonight she was "reading" her books and used all her might to get down her big nursery rhyme book.  All three of us starting going through the book looking at the pictures.  Some pages I would ask her questions and she would "tell me about them."  She turned the page and before either of us could say a thing she blurted out "Peter Piper!"  And sure enough, there was Peter Piper picking his peck of pickled peppers.  Peter Piper?!?!?!?!?!?!?  She's not even 2 yet, people!  (And just as a gift from God the videocamera was rolling, which really consisted of me and TJ freaking out after she said it because we were in shock.)

November to Remember

I have decided I'm going to try to post something I'm thankful for each day for the month of November.  Mostly so that I can focus on my blessings instead of what is crazy in my life each day.  I really want to get to it each day so I hope I can stick with it.

Today is obviously a given-TJ.  I like him, I love him, I want some more of him.  (Tim McGraw, anyone?)  If you wanted just one reason why I love him it would be his integrity.  He continually does amazing kind and thoughtful things for others and our family and never compromises who he is.  He is the BEST dad ever, even when he gets no sleep at work and comes home to Faith for the entire day.  He packs picnic lunches for just the two of them and takes her to the park. 
This story typifies just how amazing TJ is.  When we were in high school there was this elderly lady at our church that just loved TJ.  Her daughter, not too young herself, also loved TJ.  He would do things they needed done around the house just to be kind to them, they had no male person to do things around the house, and basically just because he's amazing.  One day after work or football practice or something he was on his way home.  He drove past their house and suddenly decided he should swing by to see Goldie and Jenny.  So he turned his car around and went back to their house.  When he got there Jenny came running out of the house thanking God TJ was there. (Sound familiar? If you read this blog you'll  remember another post about people praising God for TJ.)  She told TJ that her elderly mother was in the bathtub and couldn't get out.  Okay.  At that moment I would have hightailed it outta there to avoid the inevitable situation looming.  But not TJ.  He went into the house, covered her in a sheet so she wouldn't be embarassed and carried her out of the bathtub like superman.  To this day Goldie's daughter calls TJ her moma's angel. 
He's amazing, I don't know how I scored him. And he looks ridiculously cute in bunker pants.