Friday, January 15, 2010

The Party's Over, People

(I've been sick.  All week.  Yuck. Posts haven't been on my short list of things to do.)

Wednesdays are hectic at our house.  TJ may be home, he may be at the station, I have faculty meeting after school and D-Group in the evening.  That all equals out to about 2 hours with Faith (and TJ if he's there) to cook dinner, give her kisses, and a bath.  D-Group is usually one of those things you love to go to, but getting there is just torture. 
My D-Group is 5 girls that I go to church with.  We get together, hash out issues, prayer for each other, etc.  I love it so much because I can ALWAYS expect the absolute truth from the ladies.  That goes for everyone at our housechurch too.  Its so refreshing because truth wasn't something that was necessarily abundant at the church we came from.  So last time we met we were talking about where we felt we were with Jesus.  Honestly, I've felt closer.  Being a youth pastor meant people were dependant on you doing your part, and honestly, it felt good to know people valued and trusted what you said.  Since early February 09 I have definitely lacked that discipline.  The thing is I always give myself this huge guilt trip.  I look at the wonderful people we go to church with and think if only I had the gift so and so has, if only, if only, blah blah blah.  So I laid it all on the line to my girlfriends.  One of the ladies spoke up about how she'd gone through that and how she trudged through.  I can't remember alot of what she said because God chimed right in.  He let me know that what I was doing was more of a pity party than a guilt trip.  And that the pity party really needed to stop.  God lovingly told me the reason those people were given those gifts wasn't because they got to a point where they acheived them.  It was because he freely gave them.  And that they weren't any more worthy that me.  No one is worthy.    Holy cow it was freeing!  It was one of those time when things you've learned and know take on meaning to you.  God meant them for you at that time. 
So guys, I just wanna put this out there.  God loves you.  He wants to give you so much.  And don't worry that you don't deserve it- take the gift. 

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