I like her.
So what's up with the mommy guilt, anyway? Why is it that when you are entrusted with another person's well being you begin to hyper criticize yourself in every.single.area. of your life. It doesn't even have to be related to your child, yet you somehow think it makes you a horrible parent.
I mean, honestly, there have been times that I've really screwed up with Faith and I thankful God forgives those times and has kept her safe. Once upon a time when she was like, LESS THAN A MONTH OLD, TJ and I totally gave her the wrong amount of medicine (4mL instead of .4mL) and had to call poison control and the ER to make sure we didn't hurt her forever. (That's 10x the amount- kill me, please.) Those are the days you think surely God didn't mean to give you a child to raise and you should return this little being immediately to the rightful owner. I'm not talking about those times. I'm talking crazy, ridiculous things that drive you batty about parenting. For example:
Scenario: You don't wash the dishes immediately after dinner.
Mommy guilt: You must want you kids to get germs from those horrible dishes, you disgusting pig.
Scenario: You didn't put away the diapers immediately after unloading the car.
Mommy guilt: What if they were to trip over the box, or worse, what if you had to leave them unattended for .38 seconds to retrieve said diaper? How dare you?!?!?!
Scenario: You don't fold the towels the same way each time.
Mommy guilt: How dare you not be consistent for one minute? How are you going to teach and discipline your child without consistently, you mongruel.
Scenario: You have to pee and kinda want to shut the door.
Mommy guilt: Don't you even care about your children? What if they want to ask you what you're doing 37 times while you're peeing? You're stunting their development in some way, for sure.
Who gives a rip about those things really? But for some crazy reason when we become moms we start doing these silly things to ourselves, really beat ourselves up over being human.
I'm reading a book and this prayer was in it for moms who expect themselves to be perfect. It struck me in several places and I really felt like God gives us so much more grace than we could ever imagine. It's kinda long, but it might be for you today...
Father, please forgive me for my idealistic approach to mothering. I confess I wanted to be "supermom" and judged myself harshly when I didn't measure up. Please forgive me for comparing myself to other moms. It seems I could always find someone better. I accept that you made me uniquely who I am and entrusted my children to me knowing me full well. You knew my children before they were born and must have known that I was/am able to do my part to help them fulfill their unique purpose on this earth. I accept my shortcomings and failures as a mother and thank you for graciously covering me. In Jesus' name.