A Converation on Conversation

Let me let everyone in on one of my dirty little secrets- we haven't gone to church consistently this summer.  Wait, I should be more honest.  We've been to church twice this summer.  For various reasons- vacation, sick baby, time changed to Faith's nap time, excuses are a dime a dozen.  To even be more honest, I haven't felt one little bit bad about it.  Coming out of a place where we went to church at least 3 times a week, whether you were running a fever or not, its been nice to just relax and not feel so pressured.  Having said that, last week my heart's desire was to go to church.  I was a little sad to find out we were having an "out" week and would be all meeting at SkateLand.  At the expense of looking like someone who only comes "to the fun things" we went.  I really love those people.  They're genuine and unlike any church family I've ever been around.

Back to my desire.  I really think it was about abiding with God.  Opening a constant flow of communication between me and God instead of a text message in times of need.  So that's what I've been consciously trying to do.  Abide- live with- be with- the Father 24 hours a day. 

Today Faith and I were going around town looking for bedding and I was just talking with God about things.  I start thinking about how He must be so annoyed with me that I think I can just pick back up where I left off with Him.  But guys- HE'S SO NOT ANNOYED.  And better than that, he confirmed that to me by speaking to me in big ways today. Here's how:

1. I was really worried about finding a dress for Emily's reception.  We are working hard to save and pay off silly debt and I didn't want to spend much money on it.  Also, I wanted a purple or blue dress. And a maxi dress. And it needed to be long. And I'm a smidge picky. I hit all my regular honey holes with no luck.  I really felt like God was telling me "Don't pay over $15.99 for a dress.  I have one for you.  Just be patient."  At first I really felt like I may have been making that up because, really, I haven't been abiding and I thought somehow God would punish me for not abiding by making it hard to hear His voice.  But guys- HE SO WANTS TO SPEAK AND BE HEARD.  As I went from place to place I'd look for the blue or purple long maxi dress that was $15.99 or less.  Faith and I hit one last place, TJ Maxx  (where I have never found a single thing that fits these hips) to look for a quilt for her bed and I swing by the clearance rack and there it is- a blue, long, maxi dress and it was $15.00!!!!!!  I know it sounds silly, but I know God did that for me.  Because He loves me, He's rad, and He didn't want me to go to the reception in daisy dukes and a tube top!

2. My niece's friend committed suicide.  I didn't know her, but it was tough on my niece.  All day today I'd been really talking to God about my niece and her mourning and the girl's family.  Honestly, I couldn't get Shea off my mind.  I just needed to be with her.  I was contemplating driving to Enid just to take her to Sonic and hang out for a little bit, but I didn't have the gas in my car and its around 2 1/2 hours away.  I went back and forth about going to Enid today or tomorrow when my phone beeped that I got a text.  It was Shea.  "Do you think I can come visit this weekend?"  Seriously?!?!?!?  I called her right then and I'm picking her up Thursday for the weekend.  Guys- HE SO WANTS TO TALK WITH US!

I was so encouraged today.  God doesn't hold a grudge with me.  Or you.  If you don't believe me, talk with Him.  He'll tell you.  He loves you to pieces.