Morning Joy

Mornings are some the most joyous times in the Aragon Life.  Daddy's coming home from work, bearing stories, minty breath, and kisses for all.  And, occasionally, donuts.  Faith is ready for her breakfast and PBS and Silas is waiting at the rail of his crib for his morning love from his big sister.  I just love it. Sunbeams through the window, new fresh air waiting to be breathed in, dew on the grass, and smiles.

To me, each morning is like a mini New Year's Day.  You can wake up with new intentions, new ideas, and new goals to accomplish. Whatever ill was said yesterday is forgotten, all bad behavior has been washed away.

Breakfast. Shows. Walk. Playtime. Beautiful. Peaceful. Aaahhh.

***

This morning Faith told me she woke up early, but went back to sleep because she "found a good dream to dream and just dreamed it."

When she said it, it almost took my breath away with it's beauty.  She found a good dream to dream and just dreamed it. It made me want to run back to the bed and close my eyes and find one for myself.

Then I realized that standing in the kitchen with her this morning pouring her cereal, I was doing just that.  I am living some kind of wonderful dream.    And each morning I am reminded of that.  

***

Yes, it is life and it is messy and loud and unkind at times. Sometimes it feels like someone pressed the mute button only to find the sound had been turned up to 50 before they pressed it before. Silas poops every. friggin. morning within 30 minutes of waking up and Faith wants a gourmet breakfast she'll eat half of and the dishes didn't magically wash themselves like I had hoped.  And sometimes even by 9 I'm PRAYING for someone to just tell Sesame Street how to get there already because I need them HERE quieting my babies.  But that's just life and I'm convinced even Beth Moore's kids poop and Billy Graham's kids just had to have turned their nose up to his breakfast at least once.  So we're all in good company, right friends?

I'm learning to find the beauty in everyday, the quiet in the chaos. And sometimes the beauty in the chaos. 

***
We're starting school soon- Faith in PreK and me in my class and our mornings will be a new kind of joy.  Breakfast and getting dressed in "school clothes" and forgetting our backpacks, I'm sure. And this season will be over until May rolls around.  So I think I'll just go find a good dream to dream and just live it. 

My Other Guy

So, if you know any firefighter's wives, you know that at night it can get lonely.  You get the little ones in bed and you're just there. No one to talk to.  To hash out the day. So you decide to just go to bed. Then it gets REALLY lonely.  Sometimes downright scary.  You hear every noise in the house, outside the house, and three doors down from the house.  It's a double-edged sword too, because the more scared you are, the longer you're awake.  The longer you're awake, the more you think you hear.  And I can tell you if you're thinking of coming for me, DON'T.  I can get my gun cocked and ready in 10 seconds flat and I will take you down to China town. There's no shame in this game.

But lately, I've been filling my lonely time with another man. Chris Stapleton.  Chris- glory to God, holy sweet Jesus- Stapleton.  In the words of one of my friends, "He might not sing songs about Jesus, but I sure know He loves me today!"  And I'm telling you, I'm NOT in love with the man.  I just LOOOOOOVE his voice with a million Os.

Here's a little glimpse into my brain- if you sing and just putter along through the songs- you're dead to me. With one exception- George Strait.  It works for him.  (And just so you know, Kacey Musgraves, I'm letting you slide because it's your first big CD, but don't let me down.  I like you, but I need to hear some hurt in that voice, girl.) By golly, if you're going to sing, lay it out there.  All out there.  I want to see you tear up, sweat, and leave your heart out there.  And boy, does Chris Stapleton lay it all out there. His voice just has a certain umph, argh, and rumble to it.  And I want to see him live desperately. (PLEASE COME TO OK!!!!!  My back yard is big! Ha!) And can I just say this too- I LOVE when writer's start singing their stuff and just KILL it. Plus, his wife sings backup for him.  I'm in triple love with this musician.

He just released one song this month and the first time I heard it, I put it on Facebook,  Youtubed almost every video of him (also Jompson Brothers and the Steeldrivers), and downloaded the song immediately.  I might be obsessed.

Please, PLEASE, love him too.

Chris Stapleton- What Are You Listening To?

Chris Stapleton- The Right Ones

Resolution Check- "Beaver's Ben"

Man, I wish my parents wouldn't make me hike with a fever.

Well, we finally can put a check on one of the ole resolutions- we went to Beaver's Bend last month, affectionately known as "Beaver's Ben" to Faith.  And no, she cannot be convinced it is Bend.  She just can't.  And after this trip I am fully convinced that you can have fun anywhere under any circumstances.

Let's go back a week before the trip. We went to Great Wolf Lodge with some friends of ours. That place is crazy amazing.  Faith could have seriously played there for days and days.  Next time, we will stay longer.  It is incredibly safe and clean.  You couldn't convince me of that when we came home with Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease, though.  And yes, we are the like 1% of people that get it from public pools. That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.  (Just google how you get it and you'll see why.)

Great Wolf Lodge
she seriously had me take her picture on this guy at least 10 times

BUT, we decided that since we had gotten a cabin (which was amazing) and Silas was on the mend (we thought),  and TJ couldn't really take off any other days this summer, we would go ahead and go and see how it went. We also thought that Faith had gotten through unscathed, but she was not so lucky.  And she had it much more severely than Silas.  After a nice morning family hike she didn't really want to do anything except lay in bed and watch movies.  That is NOT Faith-like behavior.  We had no idea until then she'd had a fever all morning.  (And the Parents of the Year Award goes to  TJ and Amanda.)  Her fever got really high, but we were determined to make the best of a rough situation.  We drained the hot tub and filled it with cold water and let her swim in the shade since swimming in the heat in a lake was out of the question.  She had no idea we were really trying to lower her temp and played for quite a while.  We would do what we could when she felt up to it and ended up having quite a good time.  

At night, Silas acted as if his pack and play had been filled with hot lava and we wanted to keep an eye on Faith, so we all ended up sleeping in one huge bed.  That proved to be difficult to break when we got home, but it was so nice while we were there to all be together, snuggled up. (I can say that now.  At the time I was tired and somewhat zombie-like in the morning.)

See, she doesn't look sick, does she?
Less than an hour later she was in bed with a fever. 

One of the funnest things for me was our friend Jerry coming down the last day.  He is just fun to hang out with and I really miss seeing him more often.  He brought his son and nephew and it was cracking me up watching Faith interact with them.  They would do normal boy things like burp or fart and Faith would just look at me and roll her eyes.

Beaver's Bend is a great place to stay for anyone.  We got a cabin this time, but TJ and I want to go back, just us, and hike the 12 mile trail.  You can tent camp along the trail at night.  We also just HAVE to take our friends there with their family.  There were some restaurants I'd like to try out too.  I'd also love to go down in the fall and take the drive to see the foliage change in the mountains.  (I know, I'm like 80 or something.) And I just REALLY want to stay in the cabin with the teepee (tipi?) outside that you can sleep in. 

There were many things that we didn't get to do and I really thought about being frustrated and mad since it was our vacation this summer.  Of course, that would be no fun and all and ruin the fun we DID have, so instead I'm just looking forward to going again.  That's another great thing about Beaver's Bend- it's close, beautiful, and reasonably priced.  

I'm so thankful we decided to just do it.  It was a blast and something we will do over and over again.  Until next time, Beaver's Ben...

Mermaid In Training

"It was a rough first day, but they'll be swimming like mermaids by the end of the week," said Ms. M with a smile as we pulled our drenched and sobbing little girls into our arms after the first day of swim lessons.  

I wasn't so sure.  I wasn't even sure I'd take her back after Faith telling me, "The first time she tried to put me under water I fighted her."  Say whaaa?  When she was trying to put you under water?!?!?!  I had to remind myself I had sought out this "swim whisperer" and that she was recommended to me by people I trust, people who love Faith.  

Faith woke up the second day and happily announced "Today I have swim lessons again!"  But as we got closer to her house, Faith started making excuses why she didn't need to go today.  I was just as anxious as she was.  My stomach was churning and I thought I was going to puke.  I pulled into a parking lot and we prayed for Faith, the other little girl, and the teacher, too. When I dropped her off she held onto me so tightly I couldn't pull her off.  Ms. M had to pry her off of me as I was NO LIE whispering in her ear "God hasn't given us a spirit of fear." (I swear, I'm not a weirdo holy roller.)  I'm typically on the other side of that maneuver.  I'm usually the one that gets to hold the child, make them feel comfortable and loved and safe. Boy, did I get a lesson in perspective that I need to remember come August. 

The other mom and I stood outside the gate crying together.  Two moms from completely different walks of life, one in business attire and the other in jeans and flops (guess which one I am, guys?), bonded together in the moment of motherhood.  Knowing it's not going to be easy for them, but that what our children were learning was going make them better people. That it's best for them.  (And to be completely truthful, there WAS a part of me that wanted to go back and get her and tell Ms. M that she just wasn't ready.  That we'd try again next year.  To keep the small fortune we're paying you and get yourself something nice.  But I didn't.  I took a breathe, got in my car, and stayed in their driveway like some kind of psycho.)

When I picked her up 40 excruciatingly long minutes later, she was swimming.  Let me say that again, folks.  SHE. WAS. SWIMMING.  By herself.  Head under water.  And proud.  Beaming with pride.  Shocked would be a gross understatement of what I was feeling. Awestruck might be a tad closer.  And that was just day 2, people.  

And just like that, it was over.  All her fear had melted away and she was confident in what she had learned.  I was so thankful that she had stuck it out.  And that I had stuck it out, to be quite honest.  I had wanted to rescue her out of that situation, but that wasn't what was best.  Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  I wonder how many times God "stands outside the gate crying?"  His heart must feel the love pangs of parenthood when he sees us going through growing pains.  Surely, his heart breaks for us as he hears us cry, our heads going under water, feeling like we're drowning.  But at the end of this passing hour, we will come out victorious.   That we will be doing what we thought was impossible and proud.  Beaming with pride.

2nd Corinthians 4:17 Amplified Bible

For our light momentary affliction (this slight distress of this passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!]

Let's Backtrack, Shall We?

Quiet Reflection

taken at our grandparents' pond, TX

A few nights ago I sat down and read my entire blog.  From the first post until now.  It was unsettling, to say the least.  And I came to a few conclusions:
1.  I started this blog at a very hard time in my life and I tend to write more when things are tough.  I guess it is kind of like a journal to me.
2.  Because of #1, I tend to look like an emotional psycho who only has fantastic or terrible times in life.
3.  Because of #2, gross.

Yes, I've had some incredibly hard times throughout the past 4 years or so.  But gosh, if you just read this blog, it would look like I've been suicidal and/or so happy I could flit every other week those for years.  That, thank God, is not the case. I want this to be a reflection of my life, not a book of lamentations.

SO...

I am going to "restart" this little blog of mine.  I am still going to journal.  A journal of that shares both struggles AND thankfulness for what I've been given.  Because I have a pretty great life and why shouldn't I share that?  Why shouldn't I share the beauty in my day to day instead of just the pain?

I'll start with a look at today.  We didn't get to go to church today because Sis had a fever so we just laid low at home all day.  It was nice to just stay in my pajamas and get to relax with them.  

I make our baby food and we have ventured into meats.  Guys, I don't mind making applesauce or even peas, but I was a little (read: A LOT) leery of what it would look like and smell like, but lo and behold, it smelled like chicken and looked like, well, chicken paste.  Mix it in with some carrot puree and pastina and HE LOVED IT!  I don't think I had the confidence as a new mother to try this with Sis, but Si Guy loves his homemade baby food and it saves us a bundle since he already eats like a linebacker!

Tomorrow we start swim lessons.  Just Sis. She tends to be anxious about new things, even when she is excited so today I was walking her through some of the scenarios that might happen and having her answer back, "I'll try" instead of one of her go-to responses like "I can't" or "I'm embarrassed."  We  were in the playroom and she got her hula hoop and said, "Pretend this hula hoop is the pool and pretend that, um, (sees stuffed cat and throws it into the hoop) this cat is my teacher." It made me laugh that she was making her cat be her teacher when there are umpteen dolls/Barbies/actions figures in that room, but hey- whatever works, right?

Lastly, this is my focus verse.  I made this and printed it off with our family's name at the top.  My goal is to eventually memorize it.  Because yes, I'd like my life to reflect all the great things that happen, but ultimately I want to be a reflection of God.

So, some news things are coming around the bend.  Please stayed tuned if you haven't given up on me yet and you never know, maybe some new people might stop by.