Girly Girl

Deep in my heart I want to be a girly girl, but I just can't pull it off.  Somewhere along the line I realized I'm never going to keep up with getting my hair done.  I'll never have perfectly manicured nails because I play the guitar. My closet is a hodge podge of weird things I wear and cute things that still have tags.
BUT if the stars align one day, I'd probably be looking something like this:

hairstyle

hair color

clothes I love

(And because I don't know how to link back to the original source, 

here's a link to my pinterest account with all these pictures.)

So there's who I would be if I wasn't me.  You never know what I might be in the future. ;)

Constant Reminder

This photobooth picture hangs on our fridge.  I see it every day of my life.  Get milk in the morning, there it is.  Get ice one zillion times a day, there we are. Dinner, there it is.  After Faith goes to sleep and we sneak out the good snacks and drinks, there it is again.  It makes me happy because I love Faith's face and how little she looks. The second picture where she's holding her hand out like What is going on with my crazy parents? kills me every time.  TJ is obviously smokin' hot and holy hunky arms batman and when I see it I can smell his cologne.  It reminds me of spending sweet time with my best friends and seeing one of my favorite people get married.

What you guys can't see that I can is that this was one of the most trying days in TJ and my's life.  It was the day I had my D & C after the miscarriage.  You can't see that when I saw my best friends I just wanted to collapse in their arms, but I couldn't.  That I was doped up on pain meds and thought many a times about going and drinking a whole bottle of wine swig by swig while singing loudly into a microphone. (I kid, I kid. Wine is nasty.)

This picture makes me horribly sad, but it also makes me happy. It reminds me that no matter how bad the day, God is good and he has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams.  It reminds me that there was a time that I truly believed my heart would never heal and here I am, with no bandaids or anything.  It reminds me that at points in that low time I thought God would never give us a baby and now we have Silas and he is heavenly.  

It is mostly a reminder to me that we never know what others are going through.  People can easily mask their pain and no one would ever know.  Even my best friend of all time had no idea that night that anything was going on with me.   We don't know the battles people face and that choosing to pour out love and kindess might mean nothing to them and it might mean everything to them.

I love how God brought me out of such a hard place and is teaching me even when I was shaking my fist at Him the whole time. Goodness gracious, I'm so small and He is so big.  His ways aren't my ways, for sure, but they're so much better than mine.

Resolution Check

Oh, these resolutions.  Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself!  They keep me on track (sometimes) and I need that.  But I always feel like I'm waiting around for summer break to get started on most of them.  I just have to chalk it up to the life of a teacher, I guess.  My new years starts June 1st. 


2- 2 goals for the year
1. Be thankful.  Show I'm thankful.  I am much more focused on the positive.  Writing it down, not so much.
2. Be as healthy as I used to be and love it as much as I used to.  10 pounds down.  A lot of lifestyle change around the old Casa de Aragon.
3. Be organized in most facets of my life.  No.
4. Be more adventurous.  Be more fun.  Be totally not yourself. That's what I feel like this is saying.  Work on it, Amanda. Work on it.  I did read this article and it SO resonated with me.  My favorite quote is: You were not made to live a disconnected, non-contributing, helpless, depressed, excuse-filled, humdrum life. You were made to create, contribute, connect, and leave a mark. You have been specially wired and gifted to cover your specific assignment, your corner of the pool.

0- 1 think I want to stop doing
1. Stop spending unwisely.  Well, if not having any fun with our tax refund and putting it towards debt is any indication of success, then we were successful.

1- 1 place to visit
1. Beaver's Bend- This summer, my friend.

3- 3 things I want to learn
1. Learn how to REALLY study the Bible.  I love the Bible and I love focusing in our special parts.  I need to find a group of women to do this with to be successful.  Anyone wanna start a Bible study with me? We could meet at my house, dinner and discussion?
2. Learn to knit or crochet.  Not now, too crazy around here to focus on something as frivolous as this.
3. Learn to drive a standard. This summer this is happening. Hopefully.
4. Learn to play the guitar better. This one's gotta go.  My priorities just aren't here.  See ya!