Monday, June 6, 2011

Influenced

One of the few The only resolution I've really kept this year has been to read more.  I used to absolutely love reading,  but somewhere along the ripe age of 13 I realized that most kids my age didn't read for pleasure and I quit.  Quit, as in, don't even subsribe to magazines unless their gifted to me.  I've read the Hunger Games trilogy, The Help, Water for Elephants (I finished the Sunday after my Friday deadline and no one even slapped my hand) and I just finished up Something Borrowed.  Along with a Bible study book I read, a book study on handwriting curriculum and discipline strategies, I am freakin' proud of myself.  Seriously, that's probably more books than I've read the past 2 years combined in just 5 months.  But that is not the point of my story.
The point is that I'm easily influenced by media around me- people, music, magazines, and now books.  And not always in a good way, people.  Usually in a "I'm really missing out on life because I am/am not..."  A few weeks ago a person who has heard me sing several times asked me if I'm in a band or have ever recorded anything, even just for myself.  While I should have been happy she complimented me so kindly, immediately jealousy entered my heart and I started comparing myself to people I know and was so bummed that I'm just a teacher that sings.  STRIKE ONE!  All my friends are going on vacation this summer to some beach somewhere and I'm stuck her in Oklahoma or worse, Texas, with nothing to do by sit around and twiddle my thumbs.  I have no fun! STRIKE TWO!! But the worst case is with these darn books I'm reading.  The last two plots have been centered on affairs and cheating.  NO, I AM NOT CONFESSING TO CHEATING.  HEAVEN'S NO!  I'm just saying that immediately I begin to doubt that I'm pretty enough, that I've lost enough weight, that I'm fun enough, that I let TJ relax enough... Then my mind goes to I know TJ thinks I'm pretty, but I just want other guys to think I'm pretty too.  When I finally noticed what was going on with me, why I was so down on myself, I was so ashamed of just how easily influenced I am.  STRIKE THREE!!! YER OUT!!!
So what's a girl to do?  I refuse to start reading Christian romance novels, but I would like some fiction story lines with more wholesome ideas to cleanse my reading soul.  Anyone got anything?

1 comment:

  1. Ahem. Texas is NOT boring. At least when your hanging with us! Just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete

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