Si Guy has been sick. Like sick SICK sick. I took him to the doctor and our doctor said "It's going to get worse before it gets better. At least two more days of getting worse before you see improvement." About 24 hours into the 48 hours, I wasn't trusting his judgement anymore. Silas was choking, coughing, and drooling. He wouldn't eat a thing. I was furious with our doctor for not giving us SOMETHING to make him feel better and frankly, sleep through the night. I called the on-call nurse and got the same schpill. Elevate the head of the bed. Humidifier in the room. AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT JUST WANTS TO SCREAM WHEN THEY START THAT CRAP?!?!?!? Give me the dang cough medicine and no one gets hurts, am I right?!?! So we persevered and we trusted. It was HARD seeing him so sick. TJ had to talk me down from the "I'm just gonna give me a 1/4 teaspoon of Triaminic" ledge a time or two. But he woke up 48 hours later wanting to eat. And with a small little smile on his face. And improving.
And God said, Amanda, you've got to trust me.
Faith met her Pre-K teacher this week. To say I was a nervous wreck would be an understatement. Teacher-parents have this highly-sensitive, almost defensive side when it comes to their kids attending school, or at least I do. I'd been hearing a lot about Pre-K teachers retiring, moving around between grades, etc, and I was just sick thinking about who her teacher would be. Would they would love Pre-K, her class, her quirks, her personality. Couple that with Faith's uncanny ability to be excited about something then freeze at the last minute and throw a fit out of frightened embarrassment, and I felt like we were walking into a hornet's nest. I was also giving myself a nice dose of mom guilt because I was the driving force that chose for her to go to our home school instead of transferring her to my school. At our school, the parents go one night then the kids come back a few nights later. We found out the first night we got the teacher we wanted. When I texted it out, I got a bunch of "Praise God"s so I was super thankful immediately. Then Faith got to go meet her. We walked in and Faith was excited. Nervous, but excited. She looked around and started doing all the things a normal kid would do when they're looking around their room for the first time. I felt like I could breathe for the first time in a week. And just to put the icing on the cake, Faith is in class with some of our greatest friends from 12 Corners. The girls barely know each other because we left when they were just babies, but it was so nice to see them playing together and swinging each other.
And God said, Amanda, you've got to trust me.
So this week has been an experience in trust. And I'm learning that God doesn't do good things to us as a reward for us trusting. If that was the case Si would still be sick and Faith wouldn't have the teacher she has.
He does good things because He IS good in his very nature.
***
And just in case this has gotten all too serious for you, here are a few outtakes from the week. Just keepin' it real...
"Mommy, God doesn't care what our outside looks like. He cares about our insides. Just like your face." Please excuse me while I go exfoliate.
"I'm sorry mommy, but you're a mommy so you're gonna have to do a whole bunch of things at once," as I'm consoling a sick baby, talking to my mom on the phone about possible meds for said sick baby, and taking Faith's unfinished fries and she shoves them at me.
This morning Silas was playing nicely while I got his breakfast ready. I kept checking on him and there he was, watching Sesame and playing with a toy in his lap. Sweet, perfect baby, I thought. BUT when I got everything ready and went in I was HORRIFIED. He had found a bowl from last night with popcorn in it and was eating it!!! Isn't popcorn one of the cardinal sins of parenting a baby?!?!
So folks, get in your forms for Parent of the Year quickly. You're gonna have to work hard to beat this week's blooper reel!
~A~
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