My Pastor Appreciation Month

This week I've been able to think about how I'm pouring into people's lives and how, quite frankly, that can be hurtful sometimes.  You're giving all you have to people who are inherently just, people.  People who forget to say thankful, people who don't care if you're sacrificing for them.  People who do what people do, not because they're bad or out to get you, but because that's who we are.  We can tend to point the finger at others and lament about how they've hurt us.  But this week as I was thinking all of this, God starting pointing the finger at me.  He started reminding me of the people who poured into my life, despite my humanness.  People who really shaped me, helped me discover my talents and gifts, who encouraged and scolded, even when I was a rotten brat.  Even when I was a hormonal teen. Even when I was just downright rude.  And they never stopped loving me.  Even now.  

David Henson- I could write for months about how he poured his life into mine.  It's such a daunting task I can't even get started.  But I can tell you that for over 20 years he brought God's word to a group of people in such a way that God's presence was tangible in those sanctuaries.  That he gave his Christmas bonus to my family once for Christmas.  He encouraged me at everything I did at that church.  That he was so instrumental in my life that I cannot think of a word that adequately describes the depth of it.  That I still cry every time I see him.  Like once in a thrift store I was sobbing. It was overboard, but my gratefulness for his is overwhelming.   I miss his loafers, jeans, and white-collared shirts on Sunday nights.  I miss his sermons when he would grab someone's face and kiss all over it like the prodigal son's daddy did when he came home. Pastor's Pals on Sunday morning before we had children's church.  I've never met another person that brings the Word like Pastor David.  But the most important thing he taught me was that God wasn't just going to speak through him to me.  That I needed to listen, hear, and understand God for myself.  Knowing that has been one of the greatest pieces of wisdom I was ever taught.  

Kathi Henson- oh my.  I tear up at her name.  She gave so much time and care to a group of girls that was bratty and rude and she never once raised her voice at us.  And we needed it. Many, many times.  She spent hours on Wednesday nights teaching us harmonies and preparing us to teach bible clubs and taking us to Pizza Hut and selling toilet paper as fundraisers. I've never heard one unkind word out of her mouth about another human being.  Her impact on my life has no bounds.  I think about her often as I sing Silas to sleep with the harmonies and songs she taught our girl's group.  How she took us all the way to Kansas to sing for a church and sometimes I think it was just to make us feel special.  That our group- just a bunch of poor country girls- was something special.  

Jeff and Joyce Dover- I bawled ridiculously the night they told us they were leaving.  Like, too much.  

I was the kid that refused to play his dumb games before church. I was THAT kid.  But what God did through Jeff was like catching lightning in a bottle.  Those worship sessions in the (trailer house turned) youth room were open invitations to the Holy Ghost to set up residence in our hearts.  And the Holy Spirit brought hoards of youth to the country and I vividly remember looking around and just being in awe of what was taking place in that room.  

I remember the first time Jeff taught us to sing a new song to the Lord.  I thought he was off his rocker.  Now, it's who I am.  Jeff taught me how to fully worship Jesus.  I will never, ever forget that.  I am FOREVER INDEBTED to the Dovers.  Joyce walked me through hard times as a youth pastor's wife when our church was in turmoil.  They are two of the most influential people in my life. Ever.

Troy and Renee Wright- Troy and Renee came into my life when I was starting to think about the future instead of the here and now.  They immediately made me feel like I was someone of value to them.  For whatever reason, they would ask my advice, give me responsibility, and made me feel like an adult. Even when I showed my immaturity with flying colors.  Troy and Renee are my mentors. I look at their marriage as a Godly example of what marriage should be.  Where Joyce showed me how to have fun, Renee shows me how to be meek and humble.  Renee shows me how to work hard without grumbling or complaining, without anyone needing to see that I'm doing a thing.  They are always there at the exact right time.  Troy is my go-to firefighter when TJ makes a bad call and I don't know how to help.  I know I can expect the truth from them, Godly counsel and not their opinions.  I value them so much that I get giddy when we pass each other on the highway.  When I see them, I see Jesus. 

So thank you for pouring into me when I was a brat.  God is using you mightily to shape me. 

-A

October- Resolution Check

So, it is October.  That's month #10, if you're still keeping track.  And here's the skinny on my resolutions:

O.K. They're not resolutions.  They're just cute and I have to show them off. 

1. Be thankful.  Yes.  I'm trying.  And I would say I've improved this by 75% or more over the past year.  The hardest part for me is making sure I stay away from the comparison game.  I don't compare myself to other people on Pinterest or get bummed when I see ideas on Instagram I wish I'd thought of.  But I can get really down on myself when I see people who have 10 times more on their plates that me and handle it with grace and peace.  I feel like I really have just a few major priorities and I'm always running around like a chicken with my head cut off.  It's annoying and something I'd like to work on more.
2. Be as healthy as I used to and love it as much as I used to.  YES. YES. YES.  I honestly feel like a lifestyle change has taken place.  I don't view food and exercise in the same way.  This is a biggie for me.  As of today, I am 2.8 lb away from my first big goal.  That means since the day Silas was born I've lost 47.2 lb. That's 21.2 lb less than I weighed when I found out I was expecting Silas.  Since I'll meet my goal weight within the next two weeks, I'm creating a new goal.  This goal has a weight loss piece to it, but I'm also going to create a goal that will target a few body areas I'd like to slim down and as well as a exercise goal.  The exercise goal might be a 5K, but I'm mulling over a few other ideas.
3. Be organized in most facets of my life. Hmmm. I'm not so sure about this one.  Again, my job is quite organized and I love feeling like I have it under control and calm.   When I really dissect this goal, I know why it's important to me.  I just don't know how to transfer it into real life right now.
4. Be more adventurous. Be more fun.  Well, guys.  This is the first big fail this month.  No excuses.  I didn't even try.  I did a little bow shooting at my nephew's camo cookout, but that's about it.

5. Stop spending unwisely.  At church we talked about finances and how they can just really bog us down.  And they totally do when TJ and I don't work as a team.  And when we get busy that's what happens.  So we've recommitted to sitting down and really hashing things out together again instead of whoever is at home doing them alone.
6. Learn how to really study the Bible.  Yes.  This is one for the success column.  And on a sidenote, can I just say this: God has been really speaking truths in to my life where I was letting lies live.  Simple truths that I'd somehow decided just weren't as important.
7. Learn to knit or crochet. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  What the ^*&%@ was I thinking?
8. Learn to drive a standard.  Shhhhh. Can you keep a secret?  TJ is going to teach me this month.  I've already arranged for a babysitter so that we can "go on a date" that night.  I'm going to make him take me in his hotrod and HE WILL TEACH ME, DANGIT! (I'm also going to count this as much attempt at #4.)
9. Learn to play the guitar better. Play it more? Yes.  Better? No.

So that's it.  I'm feeling good y'all.  I'm finishing strong.  Rounding out the year is going to feel great!

Story with a Moral

Disclaimer: I'm REALLY putting myself out here for this post. Please don't laugh at me or shoot milk out your nose upon reading. Seriously. No laughing or milk shooting, por favor.


Okay, so there's this thing I do.  Or should I say I USED to do.

I used to self-sabotage.  I used to not finish strong.  I used to stall out before I reach any given goal.  

But that's not me anymore.  That's not what I do. That's not who I am.

The backstory goes like this:  I'm super pumped about some new thing I've started.  I swear to myself that I'm going to keep in on the down low.  But seriously, we all know me and we know that as soon as I see someone I have to tell them exactly what I'm doing, how I'm doing it, and why.  It's like information diarrhea.  There should be some over-the-counter meds for it because it's a sickness I can't cure. 
Then for some unknown reason, I start getting wiggy and stop progress.  Then I go into guilt mode about my incurable sickness, information diarrhea, and give myself the what for because it's all my fault I told someone my goal and now I can't finish it.  SERIOUSLY Y'ALL.  I DO THIS.  AND SOMEHOW YOU'RE STILL FRIENDS WITH ME.  That's the real miracle here, people.  

So, this time around, I didn't tell anyone except TJ and my best friend Corrie.  I didn't tell her for a LONG time either and the reason I finally did was because I needed her guidance.  TJ and Corrie became my coaches that helped me reach my goal- TJ was the information-driven daily guidance and Corrie was the encourager who has been in my shoes and loves me even though she doesn't have to.  Without her straight-up wisdom I would be wallowing in self-pity right now.  Without their coaching I would've never been able to reach my goal.  

So what was the goal, you ask?  It might not be much to you, but it's HUGE to me. 

I ran a 5k.  

What?  You didn't hear me?

I RAN A 5K!

Before you get all crazy and ask for my race pic, there is none.  I ran a 5K through my neighborhood at 9pm in the dark so no one would see my jog in my spandex.  But...

I RAN A 5K!

So hahahaha- in yo face- self sabotaging, not finishing, stall out at the last minute Amanda!  You've been kicked to the curb! 

Hello- I can do anything through Christ with the guidance of TJ and Corrie- Amanda!

Moral of the story:  You are not the stupid things you do.  You are who God says you are.  The end.