I. was. crushed. How can my beautiful three year old already feel like she doesn't measure up? How can she feel like someone else is more beautiful than she is? I stopped the car in the drive thru, much to the chagrin of the ten cars behind me, and looked her straight in the eyes. "Faith, you do not look ridiculous. You look beautiful. You ARE beautiful." It stuck with me all day. And I cried when I was telling TJ that our little firecracker of a daughter didn't think SHE was enough.
Then today I was getting ready to go eat lunch with friends and was having a hell of time trying to dress this pregnant body of mine. Faith kept coming in telling me I looked pretty and as soon as she would leave I would spout off self criticism and change into outfit #788290. I was so disgusted with myself and how ridiculous I looked. Wait. Did you catch it? I felt ridiculous. I said out loud that I wasn't enough. I DID THAT. SHE GETS THAT FROM ME. Talk about a kick in the teeth.
So to all the moms out there (all three of you that read my blog): let's just give ourselves a break. And by doing that, give ourselves and our daughters the freedom to be imperfect, human women with differences that don't equal flaws, but differences that equal individuality.