Back to my desire. I really think it was about abiding with God. Opening a constant flow of communication between me and God instead of a text message in times of need. So that's what I've been consciously trying to do. Abide- live with- be with- the Father 24 hours a day.
Today Faith and I were going around town looking for bedding and I was just talking with God about things. I start thinking about how He must be so annoyed with me that I think I can just pick back up where I left off with Him. But guys- HE'S SO NOT ANNOYED. And better than that, he confirmed that to me by speaking to me in big ways today. Here's how:
1. I was really worried about finding a dress for Emily's reception. We are working hard to save and pay off silly debt and I didn't want to spend much money on it. Also, I wanted a purple or blue dress. And a maxi dress. And it needed to be long. And I'm a smidge picky. I hit all my regular honey holes with no luck. I really felt like God was telling me "Don't pay over $15.99 for a dress. I have one for you. Just be patient." At first I really felt like I may have been making that up because, really, I haven't been abiding and I thought somehow God would punish me for not abiding by making it hard to hear His voice. But guys- HE SO WANTS TO SPEAK AND BE HEARD. As I went from place to place I'd look for the blue or purple long maxi dress that was $15.99 or less. Faith and I hit one last place, TJ Maxx (where I have never found a single thing that fits these hips) to look for a quilt for her bed and I swing by the clearance rack and there it is- a blue, long, maxi dress and it was $15.00!!!!!! I know it sounds silly, but I know God did that for me. Because He loves me, He's rad, and He didn't want me to go to the reception in daisy dukes and a tube top!
2. My niece's friend committed suicide. I didn't know her, but it was tough on my niece. All day today I'd been really talking to God about my niece and her mourning and the girl's family. Honestly, I couldn't get Shea off my mind. I just needed to be with her. I was contemplating driving to Enid just to take her to Sonic and hang out for a little bit, but I didn't have the gas in my car and its around 2 1/2 hours away. I went back and forth about going to Enid today or tomorrow when my phone beeped that I got a text. It was Shea. "Do you think I can come visit this weekend?" Seriously?!?!?!? I called her right then and I'm picking her up Thursday for the weekend. Guys- HE SO WANTS TO TALK WITH US!
I was so encouraged today. God doesn't hold a grudge with me. Or you. If you don't believe me, talk with Him. He'll tell you. He loves you to pieces.